I’m always waiting for that one text that won’t ever come.
My name is Alexandria. I live in Texas. 20 years young
And while you’re off fucking your new girlfriend, the ditzy stoner with a bad dye job. I hope memories of me hit you like a train. I hope you remember that I was the one that talked to you all night when your mom yelled too loud and made you feel like nothing and that it was me that held you in my arms on the days where all you wanted was to be dead to the world. I hope you remember when we made mac and cheese in our underwear and that you kissed me while I was sitting on the kitchen counter. I hope you remember the nights when we stayed home instead of going to a stupid party and made love until the sun came up and how we laid together naked too tired to move and how our bodies fit each other’s perfectly. I hope you remember that I was the one who sat through those cheesy love movies with you just to make you smile and that I was the one who listened to you rant on and on about how much of an asshole your dad was. I hope you remember that I was the one that tried to convince you to quit smoking cigarettes because I wanted you stay alive with me as long as you could and that I was the one that always accepted your dumb apologies. I hope you remember that it was always me. You know it was. I hope you know that it was always you too. I hope you remember that I loved all of you. I hope you know it was exhausting. But above all, I hope you’re happy.
‘What’s meant to be will be.’
‘No,’ I replied.
‘It’s what keeps you up at night, unable to sleep, and your chest tight, unable to breathe, your thoughts mad with desire and longing and your each and every waking moment pursuing what you desire with purpose and fury and aspiration—you cannot wait on destiny’ I said,
‘It’s presence must be demanded.’
Date someone who is interested in you. I don’t mean someone who thinks you’re cute or funny. I mean someone who wants to know every insignificant detail about you. Someone who wants to read every word you write. Someone who wants hear every note of your favourite song, and watch every scene of your favourite movie. Someone wants to find every scar upon your body, and learn where each one came from. Someone who wants to know your favourite brand of toothpaste, and which quotes resonate deep inside your bones when you hear them. There is a difference between attraction and interest. Find the person who wants to learn every aspect of who you are, and hold onto them.